Thinking of you as always sweetie! You and Nic wrap your wings around Melisa. She needs to feel your guy's presence. You's will always be missed and she is right, no one can understand unless they have that bond and been through this. Which of course we'd never wish on anyone. That's why my Angel Moms are so important to me because they know the pain of holidays, birthdays, and Angel Anniversaries. Compassionate Friends is a very good support group that has a group for siblings also. Often people think you can't have close relationships on the computer. I have "met" some that we call and even visit each other. I would never have gotten where I am without the other grieving moms support. I miss Missouri and can't wait to get back. I remember all our shared times there and the relationship of knowing you as an adult. I made the Act of Kindness card above and a few other ones. I need to get them printed and start doing the acts of kindness in your honor. Things of that nature is what makes us feel you close to us. We keep your memory alive and we need that. For other's to know you lived and made a difference. I love and miss you so much. It's a pain that has become a part of life and it is with me always. It's not the sharp pain of that first year and constant ache of the second one, but dull ache that is always and will remain with me now. Somedays I do still have my meltdowns, just missing you or the holidays. It is the hardest thing I've ever been through! You and Nic don't be having tooo much fun now without us! Yah right, your both probably laughing at that one! Don't be playing too many tricks on us either, we will be seeing you's soon!! 

Judy,

Wanted to stop in and visit Michael. Your site for you angel is just beautiful. Please take care and know i am always here for you. Love you.

Love

Carol

The Year Before Last

The holiday season is approaching,
and with it comes the New Year.
Although for me time passes slowly,
New Year's Day will ring in quickly.

I dread this New Year's Day
because they will look at me
in a terribly strange way
when I get misty-eyed,
and talk about something you had done.

After you first left me,
they reasoned when I cried,
"He's only been gone a few months."
And I would catch that look of
understanding in their eyes,
and found some comfort that they knew.

But on last New Year's Day,
my first thought upon awakening was,
Oh God, my son died last year,
not just a few months ago, not even this year,
but last year.
He will never live in this year.

They didn't understand, they didn't reason,
that last year, for me, the loss was still new.
They thought, "It happened last year,
so long ago, why does she still cry?"
I could see it in their eyes.

This New Year's Day, will it be different?
Will my first thought upon awakening be,
Oh God, my son died the year before last,
not a few months ago, not this year or even last year,
but the year before last?
He will never live in this year.

Will they even listen, should I not look them
in the eyes, for fear that I shall see,
"Why is she still crying? It happened so long ago.
It was the year before last."

Those words that we use
to describe the passage of time,
a few months, this year,
last year, the year before last.
They don't know that time stands still for me.

Will they understand that's why I cry?
Don't they know
my son just died ...
the year before last?

Author Unknown

What a totally fabulous site in memory of your precious son Michael. This is one of the most beautiful ways to do it. So so inspirational. God bless your precious heart and soul. With love, Mona